roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
