His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
