Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize