There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
