thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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