Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
