yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
