my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
