sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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