Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he was CRYING into my vagina
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize