he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
