Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We are two peas in an std pod
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
