You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.