i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.