He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
