When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize