Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
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Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.