Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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  (858): Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star. http://tfl.nu/4wpn
  Replies (27) Good night (2900) Bad night (684)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.

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  (804): my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go. http://tfl.nu/0t5u
  Replies (26) Good night (4562) Bad night (1407)
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  (607): View more from New York

  people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.

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  (607): people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome. http://tfl.nu/mqe3
  Replies (32) Good night (3612) Bad night (1015)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.

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  (208): Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oxm0
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (3170)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (1200) Bad night (4238)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.

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  (226): i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much. http://tfl.nu/edmc
  Replies (24) Good night (5285) Bad night (976)
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  (831): View more from California

  I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

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  (831): I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am. http://tfl.nu/8xi2
  Replies (15) Good night (8932) Bad night (807)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid

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  (814): its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid http://tfl.nu/99tk
  Replies (3) Good night (4636) Bad night (684)
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  (585): View more from New York

  if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.

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  (585): if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes. http://tfl.nu/m1eq
  Replies (8) Good night (2172) Bad night (849)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.

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  (303): When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over. http://tfl.nu/ei9w
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (1244)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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  (708): Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night. http://tfl.nu/vsww
  Replies (11) Good night (517) Bad night (1636)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.

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  (386): Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days. (904): You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal. http://tfl.nu/6thw
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (600)
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  (+58): View more from

  Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.

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  (+58): Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother. http://tfl.nu/wull
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (270)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad

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  (502): like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad http://tfl.nu/fybr
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (307)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..

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  (407): Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks.. http://tfl.nu/vp4f
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (318)

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