I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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