the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
