I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
