He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
