they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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