It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize