I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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