do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
