You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The air was thick with penises
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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