I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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