this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
