He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
