you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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