i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
