okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
