That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
