I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
