Where did you get a picture of my penis
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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