I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
