the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
