just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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