Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
