she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
