You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
