sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
