He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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