There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
