bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
