Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
