k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
