You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
