Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i think i just lost a toe
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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