Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I could fuck to npr.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
