I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
