i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
