just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
