My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
