the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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