Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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