So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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