Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's the barista slut.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
