the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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