You don't have asthma, your pregnant
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
