I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
