thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
