big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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