I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
