is wine microwaveable?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
