I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
