They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize