Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
